The fog of deep sleep was
lifting. I opened one eye and found my face crushed deep into my pillow.
Sheesh, is that drool? I grunted and did a quarter, slow roll over. The early
morning light was visible through the ceiling skylight. The branches on the
tall Ponderosa pine outside in our forest were swaying in a light breeze. I
guessed it was about 6:15 a.m. Another sunny day in paradise. Propping myself
up on both elbows, I opened the other eye and grunted again. Barbara blindly
swung her arm in my direction. “Quiet.”
I ducked, and said, “Are you
awake?”
“I am now Sherlock,” my wife of
fifty years moaned. “Go back to sleep Jake. We’re retired, and nothing is on
our agenda today…p l e a s e. Murph and I want to sleep in.”
Murphee, our Yellow Lab was
plopped between us. Hearing his name, the big guy raised his head wondering if
he was expected to participate in any activity that would happen when Mom and
Dad climbed out of bed.
“Come on Murph, its pee-pee time
in the forest.” Barb looked at me with a disgusted look.
“He knows what to do Jake. No
need to talk to him like he was a baby. It’s a routine for him every morning!”
Murph was already downstairs sitting by the sliding glass door to our rear
deck. I threw on my robe; shoved my feet into a pair of old deck shoes, and
trudged after him.
“I’ll make coffee and hurry back
up. Maybe we can snuggle.”
Barb, in a raised voice, shouted,
“I’m locking the door. Both of you stay out!”
“Is that a definite no, and your
final answer?”
“YES…brilliant deduction
Sherlock!”
Why did I feel rejected? I guess
because I was. I thought of that TV show with Larry David, ‘Curb Your
Enthusiasm.’ Probably good advice this morning. Some mornings when I was
feeling particularly mischievous I would let Murph run back upstairs and launch
his eighty five pounds of bulk onto the bed. ‘Time to get up’ I would shout.
This morning I concluded this would be a bad idea, and decided not to ‘jump the
shark.’ My version meaning my wife of fifty years was the shark, and I
was…well, the victim!
Murph was wagging his tail, eager
now to go out and do his business, as he knew his breakfast would be waiting
for him when he decided to come in. I opened the door and ‘Old Yellar’ bounded
out. He stopped suddenly with one foot raised. He and our morning deck visitors
stared at each other. A White-Tail deer and her fawn were poised over the pots
of flowering Petunias. This threesome had had a couple of morning meetings. All
were frozen stock still. I figured Mom and baby were about ready to eat my
flowers and now Mom was studying this ‘dog-creature’ to determine if there was
any danger. The deer slowly backed up. They turned and walked off into the
forest…a planned feast for another day. My ongoing battle of wits with our
mountain deer population would continue.
Murphee ignored them and took his
usual ‘pee path’ through several 150 ft. tall Ponderosa pine and Douglas firs.
I called after the deer, “You won’t like the flowers. I sprayed DEER-OFF on
them last night.” The smell of the repellant was awful, and the spray bottle
said, ‘Guaranteed to keep deer, rabbits, and other critters away from your
garden plants…blah, blah.’ After dousing the plants, we had to stay off our
beautiful Redwood deck for at least 2 hours as the smell was just terrible. I
observed that even the squirrels and Stellar Jays vacated the air space around
the potted plants.
The morning sun, rising over our
mountain, was slowly punching shafts of dusty light through the thick forest of
tall trees. I walked over to the potted flowers and checked to see if the
DEER-OFF did its job. All seemed OK, or else it had not been tested yet by our
community of White-Tail deer.
I walked back into the kitchen
and pulled the coffee press from the cabinet. I opened the Tupperware container
of ground French Roast coffee; dumped a large spoonful into the press; refilled
the kettle and hit the ON button. The water quickly boiled and I poured it into
the press…love that wake-up smell of fresh coffee. Murph had come back to the
deck and was ‘clicking’ his nails on the glass door. I let him in; filled his
food dish with a couple of cups of mixed wet and dry dog treats. His tail, now
wagging furiously, was banging into my leg. I pressed the hot water through the
grounds and inhaled the aroma of my morning cupa. “Come on Murph let’s check
the news. Mom’s locked us out of the bedroom.” On quiet mornings like this one,
Old Yellar and I would sometimes try to catch another forty winks. Not a good
idea this morning.
I pointed the remote and the TV
blinked on. A news reporter was standing in front of the White House. A banner
at the bottom of the screen said ‘JUST
BREAKING.’
The talking head sat atop the
body of an attractive, blonde female newscaster. My favorite news station
delivered the most accurate reporting of world news…well mostly, and hired the
smartest and best looking reporters. “Not that we notice such things, huh
Murph?”
“Good morning everyone. We have just received a report released by one
of America’s leading research think tanks. It addresses the growing
observations, by many of our nation’s more influential vocal critics, of the
deteriorating social and economic well-being of the United States. There is a
growing negative view and diminished respect for our country from world
leaders. A significant political polarization is occurring in the American
public. This well-published author states, and I quote: ‘America’s middle class
seems to be shrinking, and median income of the majority of small business
workers has shrunk by eight percent since the current Administration moved into
the White House.’ The white paper goes on to document the almost weekly
increase in federal regulations that are choking the life out of the incentive
for new business start-ups. This engine of America’s success has been seriously
short-circuited. The entrepreneurs of our great country are putting growth
plans on hold as they take a ‘wait-and-see’ position on what they broadly
define as an ‘anti-business White House’…definitely a bad sign for the hope of
future economic prosperity, and the average worker’s dream of a better life.
“The report goes on to say in its conclusion that their research
indicates that main-stream America is beginning to demonstrate a
‘We-have-had-enough’ attitude, to which the country’s leaders had better pay
attention. It concludes by stating that the study has shown a growing national divisiveness
that is alienating our citizens along political and social lines. The liberal
left is voicing the words ‘Global Oneness’ of all economies with open world
trade and open borders.
“An organized anti-America plan seems to secretly be a topic of
discussion behind closed doors.
“The question being raised in some power circles, albeit small in
number, is: Could our Federal Government’s move toward exerting more control
over its’ citizens by unpopular, over-regulation and tax increases, be
fomenting the seeds of a revolution? This subject promises to be front page
news in our country as many of the reported federal executive actions so mirror
those inflicted on the early colonialists by England.
“The study also finds, that in addition to the worsening economy,
citizens put ‘security’ as number two on their list of major concerns. The weakening
of our military, survey subjects say, is cause for great concern. Respondents
have said they view the anti-military establishment as dangerous, and an enemy
of America.”
I grabbed the TV remote control
and clicked the OFF button just as ‘Watson’ was coming downstairs.
Murph had jumped up on the couch
next to me. He figured with his usual potty excursion into the forest; meeting
the deer, and a breakfast, things were quieting down enough to allow some couch
time.
I gave the big guy an ear scratch
which always motivates him to roll on his back for the obligatory tummy rub.
“Ya know Murph, you’re definitely spoiled.”
